Please note that this transcript is AI-generated and will not be perfect.

(00:00:01) – Welcome to the Manuscript Academy podcast, brought to you by a writer and an agent who both believe that education is key. The beauty is the people you meet along the way and that community makes all the difference. Here at the Manuscript Academy, you can learn the skills, make the connections, and have access to experts all from home. I’m Julie Kingsley. And I’m Jessica Zimmer. Put down your pens, pause your workouts, and enjoy.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:00:33) – Oh, look at all of your beautiful faces. I am so happy to see all of you. Thank you so much for being here. I love that you brought your cats and your hats and your Santa hats and your trees and your desks and your gorgeous backgrounds. And my goodness, there are so many of you here, and we just appreciate you so much and all of the beautiful things you’ve said about your friends and all of the wonderful, creative ways that you add to your community. And we just are so, so happy that you’re here. Thank you so much.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:01:04) – Good job friends. Hi everyone. We’re really happy you’re here. I’m Jessica since I’m her agent, co-founder of MSL manuscript, Wish List and the Manuscript Academy. We are so excited to welcome you to our seventh annual holiday party! Yay! Um, we’re so happy to get to celebrate with all of you. This is wonderful. We have one rule here, and that is to be kind to your fellow writer. Okay, I know you can do it. You will be happy and pleased and find good friends. Okay, so we have a message from Julie because her weather is quite bad. If any of you are on the eastern seaboard, you know about this. It is, um, a big storm and Julie is in it. So here’s her message.

(00:01:50) – How are you guys? Julie Kingsley, we’re having a crazy storm here in Maine, and I’m afraid to say we lost her power. It’s totally crazy. Um, listen, guys, a happy holiday. My hope is to have the best break ever created.

(00:02:06) – And you got this. I look forward to seeing you next year.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:02:10) – Okay, so I personally loved how the Thunder was absolutely on command in that video. I thought that was super fun. Um, and yeah, we just have a lot of beautiful things to share with you tonight. Okay. So just a moment to appreciate all of you. We know it’s a busy time of year. We know the event took a lot of time and prep and thought and a lot more than most of our events, and we truly appreciate that you put in the time and effort and you supported your fellow writer. But we’ve had amazing things happen at these parties. Here’s a letter we got this year. And then I promise very soon on with the show. Dear Manuscript Academy, I wanted to tell you about something truly amazing that happened, all because of a story prompt contest. I don’t remember who prompted it, but I won the holiday party contest last year in 2022 for the one paragraph story. It involved Krampus and referenced monster smut and won the majority vote.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:03:02) – So it was a thrill that people thought it was so funny and festive. Well, thanks to that little prompt I said about writing the story. It was meant to be a novella, but ended up becoming a full length book. I just released my book yesterday. I’m proud and pleased to announce that Kidnapped by Krampus is a number one new released in Nordic Myth and Legend, number ten overall bestseller, number one new release and fantasy erotica, number three overall bestseller. And even in the top 100 holiday romance. And all because of a couple line story prompt from a holiday party through Manuscript Academy. If you could pass on my gratitude to whoever led that prompt, I would truly appreciate it. Thank you. Emily. So that was John Cusack, who had the prompt from last year. And now that writer is doing amazingly well. And Emily, we are just thrilled for you. This is exactly what we want to happen. And by the way, if any of you have good news, please tell us we love your good news.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:03:54) – Um, I know someone else got an agent offer today in our community. We’re so happy for you. Um, so. Yeah, um, this is a really wonderful thing that is happening. Okay. We have some amazing agents here. Why don’t you all say some words about yourselves? Caitlin, why don’t you go first?

Kaitlyn Sanchez (00:04:11) – I’m so happy to be here. These events always make me so happy. This community is just so wonderful. Every time I do meetings with you guys, it’s wonderful. It just. It brings out the happy of everything that we do. So thank you guys all for being here. Thank you, Jessica and Julie for setting this up. Um, I am a picture book and middle grade agent with Bradford Literary, and I just completed my 38th book deal after three years. So I’m very, very proud of Ryan.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:04:39) – Okay. Next up, Linda. Tell us about you.

Linda Camacho (00:04:42) – Hi, everyone. My name is Linda Camacho. I’m an agent at Bolton’s literary agency, and this is my first holiday party here, which is kind of nuts because I’ve been part of the community for, I think, since you started, Jessica, which feels like forever ago.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:04:55) – Very first filming day where we rented a theater, hired a film crew, and then the. You were jackhammers anyway? Yes. You’ve been here since the beginning. Thank you.

Linda Camacho (00:05:05) – Kind of. Wow, wow. A lot of time really does fly. But this is so nice to see all your happy faces. And, yeah, I represent, like, mostly children’s. Some adults, uh, whatever kind of catches my fancy, which is, I think, the beauty of being an agent for all of us, that we kind of will go with the project that really excites us. So, yeah.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:05:25) – You also did a beautiful class for us. You came to my former agency office, and you recorded a class about how to make a manuscript that everyone wants to keep reading, which I think was so insightful and nice and timeless and lovely. And thank you for doing that. Um. Kiki, come on down.

Kiana Nguyen (00:05:42) – Yo. What’s up? Um, I’m Kiki Kiana Nguyen. Um, I’m a junior assistant literary agent.

Kiana Nguyen (00:05:51) – All those words, um, I thought almost literary agency have been with them since, like, I was an intern in 2016. Um, I’ve also been with Manuscript Academy. Same since day one with Linda and with Jessica and Julie, so, like, that’s been super rad. I represent that in a in adult. And I honestly started rambling and I can’t stop and I’m done.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:06:11) – Um, yes. Josh, we love it. She said the word rad. Thank you. Thank you for being here and for being there in the past and just being awesome and being you.

Kiana Nguyen (00:06:19) – Happy to be here.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:06:20) – Stephanie, tell us more about you. I’m Stephanie Winter, I’m.

Stephanie Winter (00:06:23) – From RPS Literary Agency, and I represent a lot of nonfiction, graphic novels and fiction in that like thriller or spooky space.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:06:31) – All right. Um, we are so happy everyone is here. This is going to be a fun, supportive night. Writers, if you could please go get your queries, pages and nominations so that they’re handy in case we call you up.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:06:44) – We appreciate that a lot. While you get those, a few nominations stood out to us just because they were particularly awesome. Cyril, would you would you be willing to come up and read yours?

Speaker 7 (00:06:58) – Hi, everyone. Yeah, I’d love to read my nomination because I nominated my friend and writing group partner, Casey Schultz. I wrote, I am so excited to nominate Casey Schultz, my brilliant and hilarious friend who’s work in progress. The Copper Canary delights and inspires me at every meeting of our biweekly critique group. Casey is exactly who I would want on stage if I was hosting a party like this. That was part critique, part virtual holiday celebration. Um, because she is passionate about her words and ideas, she is super nerdy for craft. Uh, she’s quick with her disarming sincerity and with her good natured and occasionally biting sarcasm. Um, Casey. Storytelling ideas are wildly ambitious. Her attitude is playfully self-deprecating, always self-deprecating, and her energy is slightly ad in the very best possible way. In short, I think Casey is exactly the kind of writer who many of you many of us on this call would be lucky to hang out with, could probably totally identify with, and whose success will have all of us rooting for her.

Speaker 7 (00:08:04) – Um, events like this, uh, just might help Casey get out of her own head and give herself some of the credit that she so very much deserves for just how great she is.

Kiana Nguyen (00:08:13) – Wow. Can you read my letter of recommendation for, like, literally anything I just said?

Kaitlyn Sanchez (00:08:17) – The same thing in the chat was like, can you be my publicist?

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:08:20) – Isn’t that beautiful? And so rating stuff like this from all of you, I think it’s so important that what is happening, you know, the world is a scary place sometimes. And what we really have are our relationships. And to see the beautiful relationships so many of you have with your writing friends is just such a wonderful thing. Casey, I actually read yours to my mom. I hope that’s okay. I met my parents. Would you read your nomination, please?

Speaker 8 (00:08:48) – Yes I will okay. If critique partners were characters in a teen angst movie, Sarah would be the older cousin character walking around in the aftermath of the big party with a ten gallon trash bag, trying to talk sense into our coming of age author Cyril.

Speaker 8 (00:09:02) – Yes, he knows author didn’t mean to procrastinate on their manuscript. And yes, he knows it was actually mean beta readers fault that the expensive tchotchke of a protagonist backstory fell apart in slo mo, crashed to the ground, and now the entire character arc is ruined. But he also knows that what author really needs right now is to get back on track. And so he becomes the concerned coach, tough love teacher, guy in the chair mentor, and delivers a John Hughes worthy monologue that resets authors priorities, boosts her confidence, and changes her subplots for the better. In summary, Cyril is the Manuscript Academy of Critique Partners. He doesn’t get nearly enough out of our agreement for how much he gives. He will say that I’m exaggerating and then he doesn’t know what he’s doing. And although normally his assessments are pure gold, this is where he falters. His writing is brilliant, honestly, brilliant. The novel he is working on now is a carefully plotted, thematically complex masterpiece in the rough that is just a few ounces shy of becoming a diamond.

Speaker 8 (00:10:01) – I honestly can’t thank him enough for all that he has done for me and my writing. Um, but I hope this is a start in repaying him. Most of all, I hope it gives him the boost he needs to stop feeling like things aren’t going well, particularly when I would happily hold up his work up high for all to see, with every ounce of unwavering reverence held in my angsty author heart.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:10:26) – Gosh. Okay, I wish for all of you that you get a writing relationship like this. This is. This is beautiful. Seriously. Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I love it.

Kaitlyn Sanchez (00:10:39) – I got the chills, like, I thought you had me at John Hughes and then you did the great analogy. And then I was like, starting to cry at the end. Oh my gosh, sorry, we’re not supposed to be analyzing these, I apologize.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:10:49) – No, but people are. This is this is lovely. Thank you. Okay, so again writers, I hope you have your pages and your queries ready.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:10:57) – We are about to start with the main event of the evening. Before we get into that, though, you know us, we can’t have a party without giving you lots of prizes, so there will be prizes at the end. Please stick around for that. They will be great fun. Okay, Caitlin, please come on down and tell us about your nominee.

Kaitlyn Sanchez (00:11:17) – So my nominee is Felipe Mafia Stan, I believe Mafia Stan. And he was nominated by Suzanne Defini.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:11:26) – Suzanne, if you could come on down and say some nice words from your nomination, we would love that. Well, so. Oh, my gosh, are you coming from, like, a theater premiere or something?

Speaker 9 (00:11:36) – I’m in the middle of a concert, listening to the concert with one ear and Manuscript Academy with the other.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:11:45) – So thank you so much for joining us. That’s amazing. All of you have. Um, yes. We love your dedication. Lots of dedication here. So tell us about your nominee.

Speaker 9 (00:11:56) – Well, Felipe is my hero.

Speaker 9 (00:11:59) – He loves children. He’s worked with Unicef, uh, Global Fund for children. As a former teacher myself, I love that he is dedicated to our youth. And as an English teacher, I appreciate the fact that he loves to play with words. He knows the power of words, the playfulness, how you can create reality with words. So that is why I nominated him.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:12:29) – That is beautiful.

Speaker 9 (00:12:30) – Well, thank you so much.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:12:31) – All right. So, flip, will you read your first page and tell us about you a little bit and what you’re hoping to learn more from our agent panel tonight? Sure.

0 (00:12:42) – Happy to. So mostly just, you know, this is my actually my first time joining any event like this, but hoping I can get some feedback, both on the quality of the writing itself. And you know what, what the representation potential is for for the book. And of course, I have to thank Suzanne. That was that was an amazing nomination. Thank you so much.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:13:01) – And Caitlin, tell us about this page and the things you love and why you chose it.

Kaitlyn Sanchez (00:13:06) – Okay. I have a ton to say, so feel free to cut me off any time. First of all, like Suzanne said as a teacher, but for me, as a math teacher, I was super floored to hear that you’re writing a picture book about the Fibonacci sequence. Like most people don’t know about it, every picture book that has numbers in it is about counting. Don’t get me wrong, those are phenomenal. But if you could do a Fibonacci sequence picture book, well, oh my god, even those editors that are like, I hate math, that’s why I’m in the publishing industry would be like, give me, give me, give me. Please write if you could do it well. So no.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:13:39) – Pressure. And do you have your first page and query handy? Uh, yes. Great. Go ahead.

0 (00:13:45) –

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:14:39) – And could you read your query for us to.

0 (00:14:41) – Sure. This was addressed specifically to Linda. Is that all right?

Kaitlyn Sanchez (00:14:45) – I stole him, yes.

Kiana Nguyen (00:14:47) – Okay.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:14:50) – Yes. Do whatever is most comfortable for you, Linda. I’m sure we’ll take it as a compliment, so. Yeah, go for it.

0 (00:14:57) – Great. Thank you.

Kaitlyn Sanchez (00:16:00) – Ah, I love that. And my dad tells me stories. When he visited Haiti so that this was like even more like, oh, I’m so excited to hear that. And it’s just I love that idea of like having a different viewpoint. I did not expect to see a Fibonacci sequence, especially as a picture book here. So I’m very, very excited. And then what I love too, is like a lot of times when we have like counting books or math books, it’s very focused on the math as opposed to the story. And as everyone said in the chat, like, you are a beautiful storyteller and the fact that you can take a story and add that layer Fibonacci or be inspired by Fibonacci and add that layer of a story, I mean, you’re just going to blow everyone’s mind, and that’s what we want in the publishing world, right? Editors always want something unique and interesting that hasn’t been seen before.

Kaitlyn Sanchez (00:16:43) – You have found it. Keep it going.

0 (00:16:45) – Thank you so.

Kaitlyn Sanchez (00:16:46) – Much. You’re welcome. I love that you establish the characters flow so quickly, which is very important in every book, but especially a picture book to get it right there. And what I can’t wait to see is how that floor on being so focused on and preoccupied with math really helps her overcome the obstacle that she faces in the story. If you can do that chef’s kiss, I would love to see more dealing with the adding on aspect that you have with like the one one and then the two right at the beginning with the parents and how beautiful that is, especially if you can culminate. So I love that it kind of in the next one went off to this beautiful scenery description. But if you can do like a cumulative where something that has to do with the numbers accumulating builds up to the plot issue that she has to solve. Oh, I, I like bite fist like, ah, that would be amazing. A good comp that you can look at is One Family by George Shannon and Blanca Gomez.

Kaitlyn Sanchez (00:17:42) – It doesn’t have the story as well with a great arc that you already have, but it has that concept of like that idea is one, but then it talks about how a pair can be one and how like eight can be one and things like that. So you can kind of use that as like another guide to motivate you as you’re working really hard to make this story super awesome because it’s a picture book. I think the way that you have it is super awesome, but you can also do some stuff with playing with art notes where, you know, it could be like you have like for the mom, you know, like her saying, like, you know, one cup for mom, one cup for dad, two happy parents, three plates of food to enjoy together and then have an art note of them trying to get her attention and them not being able to. But I think the way you did is really good, but I just want you to kind of have an idea of like how you can play with art notes there.

Kaitlyn Sanchez (00:18:24) – Um, keep up that beautiful symbolism of that pattern. But the part that I wanted to add on was, if you can work on not just that the sequence itself and the building of itself culminates the problem, but that somehow also creates the solution. And the fact that she has that flaw also is incorporated in that solution. It would be amazing for the query. I really love that you have the statement that says my family immigrated from Haiti 5 or 6 decades ago, but I have been raised in and love the culture that is not a but Felipe. That is an and that sentence should read. My family immigrated from Haiti 5 or 6 decades ago, and I have been raised in and love the culture. There is no but there. That is your culture. Be proud. Take out that button. Replace it with an ant. That’s my main recommendation for you and thank you so much for sharing this with us.

0 (00:19:12) – Thank you so much. That means a lot.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:19:13) – Oh, that was beautiful. Does anyone else on our panel want to jump in? It makes me so happy, Caitlin, that we have a math teacher here who is the perfect fit to talk about this book.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:19:25) – This was such a beautiful interaction to see. Um, did anyone else on the panel want to add anything? You’re all allowed to have conversational right of way, of course. Sure.

Linda Camacho (00:19:35) – You know, it’s it’s such a fascinating topic. I don’t know, I’ve only ever heard of the Fibonacci sequence, and I know years ago trying to look it up and trying to understand it. And I think this is the kind of picture book that might actually teach me that I might actually learn it. And yeah, I would say, honestly, nothing to add from my perspective, but I really like that. Yeah, this is such a unique topic and it’s just done in such an intriguing way. And I can’t wait for this book to eventually be on the world, and I have no doubt that it will be.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:20:05) – And sometimes it’s hard to balance story and idea. And especially for.

Linda Camacho (00:20:10) – Nonfiction, it’s just prescriptive nonfiction in particular. It’s just so yeah, it’s really a tough balance. Yeah.

Stephanie Winter (00:20:16) – Right there, Linda and Jessica and Caitlin, like the pattern was so lovely.

Stephanie Winter (00:20:21) – And then to hear it as well, the story and the pattern and the math like my brain understood math once. Not anymore. And so to be able to like have all those things married together where I’m following the math is like really cool. Like, this is such a good story.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:20:38) – Lucy says, I hope Manuscript Academy will announce this publication. So, um, yes, if you get a book deal, will you please let us know so we can tell everybody and they can be happy for you?

0 (00:20:50) – Absolutely.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:20:50) – And that goes for everybody here. If you get a book deal, tell us so we can be happy for you. Okay. Hopefully we will be reading a letter from you next year saying that your book is also a bestseller. Thank you so.

1 (00:21:02) – Much. Got a.

Stephanie Winter (00:21:03) – Quick comment real.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:21:04) – Quick. Yeah, of course.

Kiana Nguyen (00:21:05) – I don’t want to get too emotional right now, but I do want to say fully like and to everyone that the stories of our liberation and our cultures and our traditions and just generally like our people as individuals that we share with the world are so important, especially for children right now.

Kiana Nguyen (00:21:24) – And I think that’s so clear in the way that you’re sharing your character of a story through the love of her math. And, um, I just think that’s like, um, something that’s like really important and vital right now. So just support you in that.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:21:38) – We love you. Okay? We’re so happy this is happening so much. Writing is powerful. Keep doing it. Okay. All right. Linda, are you ready? I am okay, I’m going to call Kelly to read a nomination.

Stephanie Winter (00:21:55) – Um, so I’m nominating Heather today. I met Heather about five years ago through BWI, which is the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators, and we’ve been in a critique group ever since. Um, I’ve seen multiple drafts of her project, which is a Y contemporary romance with some themes of grief and loss, really important topics. And I’ve loved all the versions. Uh, she’s a super talented writer and great at making you feel all the feels. When I read her first draft, I cried.

Stephanie Winter (00:22:27) – Um, she’s just so talented. And she recently started querying. And, I mean, it’s always hard to put yourself out there. So I think now more than ever, she deserves all the love and encouragement. And I’m really excited for everyone here to get a feel for her writing.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:22:42) – That’s beautiful. Thank you. Heather, come on down. Hello. Hi.

Stephanie Winter (00:22:48) – Hi.

1 (00:22:48) – Oh my gosh, that made me emotional. Kelly.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:22:52) – Linda, tell us about your thoughts here. And then we can jump on in in a moment.

Linda Camacho (00:22:57) – Yes. So the writing you know this story, it’s called all the Oceans inside Us which is such a lovely title. And it’s Ya contemporary, which is, you know, always hard to do, especially given the market in general. But I can always talk about that later. And what I’d loved about the story is that it’s just so well written, like it has such great voice. I really felt connected to the protagonist, and that’s not so easy to do.

Linda Camacho (00:23:26) – I think especially, you know, we’re adults and I even when my own writing, I find it can be so hard to get into that teen mentality. I bring sometimes too much of my own adult self into it. And Heather doesn’t do that. You know, I think Heather does strike a fine line, a fine balance. So I really that first page just it flew and I felt really connected.

1 (00:23:48) – Oh.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:23:49) – Heather. Um, so what do you need help with? And would you read your query in first page?

1 (00:23:57) – Okay, I’ll start with my query.

Linda Camacho (00:27:43) – And and this is just so well written. I think, you know, it’s like even just going starting with the page, you do a lot of showing as opposed to telling, which is always a wonderful thing.

Linda Camacho (00:27:54) – Right? I think it’s so easy to want to say something like, you know, this character is feeling nervous, but no, you use very specific language, right? You go the leather straps is my art portfolio. Etch a groove into my palm that says, so much like I really can feel that. And later on I grip my portfolio like a lifeline. And you also have really lovely imagery, right? Like the collective anxiety, anticipation, frothing like a white cap. See, it is so visual. So the writing is just so great. And the query is really good too. It’s like it’s a solid query. And what I would probably do just to to tweak it and make it stronger is how do you give just a little bit more specificity. Right. So you have this character Tabitha, she’s lost her brother. So she’s clearly in the depths of grief. And she on top of that, she’s dealing with that and she has this dream. So you go her fears are confirmed to fix her work or lose her dream.

Linda Camacho (00:28:52) – And I know you sort of go on, you know, she wants to get into this college, leave a small town and all. That’s really interesting and good. How do you make it even more specific? Right. How do you make this issue very specific to the character? Like how do you show me the stakes a little bit more? Right. So what’s the worst? I mean, you don’t have to spell it out completely, but how do you give me a sense of all right, like if I took any kid on the street and their dream is to get into a great college and maybe leave their small town, what makes this character really unique? Why is it so important to this particular character? So just a little bit of more of that specificity, and especially with contemporary Ya though it is kind of funny because whenever I talk to writers, I go, oh, that’s a hard market. And then I talk to people about middle grade. I’m like, that’s a hard market to in picture books.

Linda Camacho (00:29:42) – So everything’s hard. It doesn’t mean impossible. It just means, okay, how do we present your really talented work in a way that makes someone’s eyebrows go up? Right? How do you position it? How do you market it? And so especially in the query letter not. Not every story has a hook, right? And obviously I’ve only read the first page. This might be a quieter, lovely story, and that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with that. Not everything is like Michael Bay, you know, explosions, this thing and that happening. But then if someone says the thing is too quiet, if that’s what you’re getting feedback on, I’m not sure, then you might. Again, it always goes back to stakes. So indicate the stakes, indicate the tension. Right. Because even the quietest story has that tension to make the reader turn the pages. And then when you go into that page, I think this is a good opening, but I don’t think it’s yet. Like there like I think if people think this is because I think he might have said people have said it’s familiar.

Linda Camacho (00:30:44) – Right. That was.

1 (00:30:45) – One moment.

Linda Camacho (00:30:46) – Familiar. Right. And I see the potential here. How do you and again, beginnings are hellish. I think they’re harder than even coming up with the ending. And I wish I could say, oh, just do it this way. And then that’s the perfect opening, because again, I don’t know the whole story and this might be the best opening, but I don’t know if it is. I think we can dig just a little bit more. And I’m sorry if I’m torturing you because you probably already have tortured yourself with this story. And there’s so much really great stuff here. It’s just when like, for instance, your your comp titles are Emily Chopin’s book. Right? Astonishing color of Ever After. There’s death there, right? Her mother dies by suicide in the story, and it opens up with her visualizing her mother as a bird. And that, like, is a really striking image because you don’t see that that often, right? So it’s the visualization, right? And the really beautiful lyrical language.

Linda Camacho (00:31:38) – And you’re, you’re writing straddles that. And again, it’s not a bad thing or a good thing. It’s just a style. Right. So you have lovely language. It’s straddles commercial and literary and that’s a nice space to be in. So that means is you’re going to have to rely slightly more on a hook if you can plant that in the query, if not upping the stakes in the query to get someone to read. Once you get them to read, how do you create this opening that really, really pops in a more unique way? And so it’s kind of ever after you come to that. That was great. All the oceans inside us. I haven’t read, but when I looked it up, I saw that in the first page. It’s memories of the character and her sister, who was, I think she was doing self harm in the story. And then those snippets of memories form a connection between the reader and the character. So it’s also done in a unique way. So maybe finding what might work for this story if people are saying this is really good, but I’ve seen it so many times, so I wish I could say what that opening is.

Linda Camacho (00:32:39) – If I had the formula, it would be with all my clients. But so good. And I just want you to amplify this opening so that you can keep people reading, because I have no doubt the rest of the story is fantastic.

1 (00:32:50) – Thank you so much. That is very helpful. Okay.

Linda Camacho (00:32:52) – I’m glad. I really.

1 (00:32:53) – Appreciate that.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:32:54) – Yeah, getting lots of love in the chat. Does anyone else on the panel have any thoughts?

Stephanie Winter (00:32:59) – But but just a comment to what Linda was saying about beautiful descriptions. Like, I felt like I sat up when I was listening to your query being read and you’re talking about like, polar plunges and snowy stargazing. You you have really lovely turns of phrase. So everything on this, I could not say it better.

1 (00:33:16) – Thank you so much.

Kaitlyn Sanchez (00:33:17) – That’s what I always say to whatever Linda said. That’s the best. Oh no, but I really I, you know, my focus is picture books and middle grade and that’s what I love to digest myself. I still kind of live in like a 12 year old mind.

Kaitlyn Sanchez (00:33:29) – So Ya is a little out of my space. So I can’t say that this is true for everyone, but like if the Ya that I have read, I don’t see this kind of awesome like lyrical visual kind of stuff. So I think that that, you know, can set it apart. And if Linda saying keep doing the same thing but better, then keep going with that.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:33:48) – Lots of really supportive comments in the chat too. Heather, I.

Stephanie Winter (00:33:53) – Feel I.

1 (00:33:53) – Feel so supported. Yeah, I feel like it’s just so helpful because you’re, you know, writing different drafts and and working on different things. And so to get actual feedback and thoughts that some of this is in the right direction and where I could tweak it is just incredibly helpful and very boogieing.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:34:11) – Yeah, that’s the goal. Oh that’s nice. Someone says you are the real deal. Heather, I’m glad you feel supported and you can feel the energy of all the chats in here.

1 (00:34:21) – Very much.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:34:22) – All right. Next up, would Katie please come on down and read your nomination? Hi.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:34:32) – Oh, look at you in the sunshine in the mountains. Hello.

1 (00:34:36) – Hello.

(00:34:37) – Um, so, Marilyn Hammock, I hope I’m saying her last name. Right.

2 (00:34:41) – She and I got to be friends just this week, and she sent her first page, and it’s a thriller, so it’s called a Piece of Forgotten. And it’s a page turner about Grayson, whose husband disappeared, and she now she can’t remember the events during the night of his disappearance. And it’s written with a ton of sensory detail, and I found myself wanting more at the end of it, and also a little bit afraid to go out. I was reading it at nighttime, so I’m really excited for her.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:35:12) – Thank you. And okay, so Marilyn, if you could unmute and come on down. Yes. Hello.

Speaker 9 (00:35:20) – Hi.

1 (00:35:21) – Hi, I’m Marilyn and Kiki.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:35:24) – Why don’t you tell us a little bit about your choice here? Oh, yeah.

Kiana Nguyen (00:35:27) – Okay, so I love thrillers, so I was like, great for me.

Kiana Nguyen (00:35:33) – I also think, um, I was really interested in, uh, working with this, too, because I feel like memory play with thrillers is also something that’s, like, very thing. I think that, yeah, some of the sensory details that were just like, really key moments that felt so specific. And I was like, oh, I really like that because I think it’s like really hard when you have a character that has like memory loss and is trying to essentially like investigate what happened in that blank space is just so fun. So it’s exciting, honestly. Yeah.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:36:01) – And also, just for all of you out there, I was with Marilyn and a welcome for today. And Marilyn was delightful. And for an hour I had to pretend that I didn’t know that she was Kiki’s choice. Did I succeed Marilyn? I know I was a little weird, but, like.

1 (00:36:18) – Did you know you.

3 (00:36:19) – Were not? You were so friendly and so nice. I mean, I instantly went on to X.

3 (00:36:25) – God, I sounds so old. And I put in there about how wonderful you were and and warm. And my husband looked at me and he goes, what are you doing on your phone?

1 (00:36:36) – I said.

3 (00:36:36) – I have to, I have to say how wonderful it was. And he goes, what you were doing on your laptop? Yes. My husband’s old too. And and I said, yes. I said, I know we gotta go somewhere, but I have to do this. It was so wonderful because you’re so down to earth. Okay. So my query is a they’re Jessica and Julie. I’ve listened faithfully to your podcast, and I’ve loved the empathy, advice and humor the both of you have brought to my life as an aspiring writer.

1 (00:38:25) – Yay!

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:38:26) – Okay, Kiki, over to you.

Kiana Nguyen (00:38:28) – All right. So bad. Um, honestly, I remember reading this, and I was like, the thing that also about your first page, too, is that it’s very clearly a thriller.

Kiana Nguyen (00:38:36) – I think that one of the hardest things with queries in which I wouldn’t necessarily like, be like, oh, this is like the thing that you need to focus on is atmosphere. And I feel like that there’s a clear atmosphere in this query that lets me know that it is a thriller. I think it also points to what you have. Here are points that you know your main character very well and the circumstances. And here’s like my note is that we know all these questions that happened with her internally and what she’s worried about. But not necessarily the plot. Um, so we can sort of take these details that you have in your query and sort of pare it down to more story than sort of her internal conflicts. So it’s it’s good to know that, um, you know, uh, so her husband disappeared around Christmas time, and there’s, like, this trail, and she’s trying to balance her life. Right. But maybe we don’t necessarily need to know about, like, the sudden snowfalls and sort of those little tiny details that, like, do good to create imagery.

Kiana Nguyen (00:39:34) – But the query is mostly about character and story, I would say more so in how does the confusion around his disappearance affect her life? How does it affect her relationships, and is it something that really troubles her to such an extent that like, why hasn’t she sort of investigate it before these notes? Right. So that and that helps us get a sense of, um, her issue or like her character. Want or need. Um, like, what is the thing that’s like, you know, is she afraid of knowing more or whatever? And then it’s happens. Like, then she can’t avoid it anymore because she’s getting these notes. And then when it comes to like the nature of the notes. Yeah. What is the nature of them? Are they threats or these little like, like, you know how I know what you did last summer? Like I you know what I mean? And because I think kind of getting a sense of what that threat is lets us know about her character, because what threatens her, is it an emotional thing? Is it a sense of her physical safety? So I think that you can you can kind of twist around what you have here, because it’s clear to me that you know your story very well, and it’s just like distilling it for us.

Kiana Nguyen (00:40:38) – And I think queries are honestly such. They’re booty and they’re really hard to write. And I think, honestly, for the most part, agents really do take that like into account when reading them. And as long as we essentially get like an idea of who your character is and what the story is involved with, like that helps a lot.

3 (00:40:56) – So thank you. Okay.

Kiana Nguyen (00:42:49) – Girl, I think you did it. I mean, honestly, it’s so much pressure that writers have to, like, get this, like, impression clearly. And obviously I’m saying that as someone who literally reviews them and does have to reject and accept them. Like I said, the query and the first page so clearly did note to me that this is a thriller. Um, that there is tension and that there is mystery. And I do feel like sometimes when I like this example a lot, because it’s clear to me what the book is. And I think that’s sometimes is the hardest part when it comes to putting a query package together. So, um, I think that you did such a stunning job on that. Um, and it’s really clear to me that she’s unreliable, maybe not as a narrator, but as a character.

Kiana Nguyen (00:43:33) – And she’s she’s going through a lot. She’s waking up in this forest and she has these scratches and that it’s like dark, it’s cold and all these things. And we get the idea that this is a recurring thing, so much so that she just goes back to bed, she doesn’t even bother showering. And I think that’s such a good detail. And it gives us a lot in terms of like, kind of where her headspace is at, how she prioritizes her pain and her grief and sort of what her relationship is with these nightly occurrences. So I think that that’s something it’s really hard to so easily emulate routine, the routine of something while also giving it an emotional impact. So I think that that comes across really clear and really my only notes for these opening pages. It wasn’t quite clear to me what was actually happening. I first thought she was having a dream, like a nightmare, and I was. And then it was just like, actually. Then it was like, oh no, she’s actually has been like sleepwalking or some sort.

Kiana Nguyen (00:44:29) – So I think here is also my other biggest note about big notes is that, baby, y’all gotta give us something. We can’t just be out here implying things like that. The mystery is sometimes not what you think it is, right? So you could just say, like, even if it’s just like. And it’s also how does she feel about, um, just waking up in the forest in the middle again? Like, if someone’s just, like, so over it, like they’re so depressed, so over it and just be like, I have to like, uh, clean these up, my cut’s up later or something like that, or something that really depresses her. She would be getting anxiety over it. So a lot you can bring more personality of this character, um, into those like, little things because, you know, the same way, like a happy go lucky person is not going to wash like birds off their car. Like the same way someone who’s like, you know, stressed out all the time and you that helps with like word choices a lot.

Kiana Nguyen (00:45:16) – And in books it just gives more specificity to a character. So that’s kind of like my biggest know about that opening session is just to be more clear and like upfront with us, like what exactly is happening and then relay more about grace and like, you know, through sort of word choice and how like we’re describing things. And then the same thing when she’s in the shower, I think the Kenny Loggins, I think anything when it comes to music and media that character mentioned is really foreign. I feel like Kenny Loggins really does give the idea of a specific type of person. Her interests age like things like that in such a short, simple way. Oh, we were more or more also. Okay, going back to the picture that she finds and it’s like she doesn’t know if she broke it or not or things like that. I thought that was so great. And then the lasting image of how her mother wanted a family, or her mother in law wanted a family. I think that also points to a lot of mystery in her relationship with her husband and her in-laws.

Kiana Nguyen (00:46:06) – And I thought that was like such a great way to end.

3 (00:46:09) – I wish I could repeat this like every morning when I wake up, I can hear your voice saying all this because that that was thank you so much.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:46:17) – Thank you. Okay, so we have Stephanie Winter. Okay. Kendra, why don’t you come up and tell us your nomination? Uh. Hi. Welcome.

1 (00:46:29) – Hi.

Speaker 8 (00:46:29) – I’m Kendra.

1 (00:46:30) – And I was told about this.

(00:46:31) – Event by.

1 (00:46:32) – My writing critique partner page, and we’ve been working together for a few years now. We started working on memoirs together, and honestly, page has just been so amazing to work with. From the first time I read her pages, it was really evident, just like how beautiful her prose is. Um, she’s such a talented writer. And not only that, but she’s always trying to improve her craft. Um, taking part in events like this and retreats and courses and, you know, sharing her, um, her successes and her tips and her struggles and everything in between on.

1 (00:47:06) – Instagram and she’s an amazing critique partner. I always leave with something to work on and think about. And yeah, she’s just a joy to work with and I’m really excited that she was chosen today.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:47:17) – That’s so nice. Okay, Paige, I’m asking you to unmute. And Stephanie, why don’t you say a few words first? I love this.

Stephanie Winter (00:47:24) – For a couple reasons. One of which is what Kendra had said, which is the prose. The moment I’m like reading the first page, I’m getting sucked into the visuals and we’ll talk about more later. But like, it was just really lovely to kind of immerse into the protagonist’s head. Um, and then the other thing I love about this is the potential. Like there is a trigger warning that it is a 911, um, mentioned memoir, but there’s something really interesting about the fact that we still see a lot of deals come through about post 9/11 works. It has totally changed our experiences. And then we are just off the heels of maybe not off the heels of.

Stephanie Winter (00:48:02) – But like with Covid and the pandemic that has happened, I think there’s something really unique about having those memoirs coming out now of self-reflecting of what happened 20 years ago, and then also how that is informing the reader who’s reading it today. So I thought the potential was just wildly fun and interesting. And also there’s like a science element of Paige’s backstory, which is also really cool. And I will geek out about that in a minute, but I will stop talking. Those are many of the reasons why I love this work.

(00:48:28) – Thank you. This is.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:48:30) – So exciting. Thank you, Kendra, for those nice words. Thank you Stephanie. All right. I’ll start with the query.

Stephanie Winter (00:50:31) – Okay, awesome. So I love a bunch of things about this. So one of the things that I thought was really fun is the fact that you are marrying so many different things in one text, and it’s possible to do so. You have the career component and the repercussions of whether or not you succeed versus your mentor, success versus your future success. And so there’s a lot of really interesting stakes and tensions there. You also have the really interesting stake in tension of knowing that when you travel somewhere and then 911 hits the entire expectation of what your year is going to be like is forever change.

Stephanie Winter (00:51:04) – What I would love to see in this query is because you have those interesting components that have their inherent stakes. I would love to see you find those like key moments and really tighten up that paragraph where you’re describing some of those experiences that are happening because you have the stakes there. You have the 911 piece, you have the career success. You also mentioned going back home to the US, and I was kind of curious about if that is part of the book itself, or if that’s the ending. I’m kind of hoping it’s part of the book itself, because it’s that, you know, experiencing something as an expat in Florence while everybody back home is experiencing it, versus the idea of you then coming home after a year has passed it, you literally change the United States like nothing is the same. So you have a lot of really interesting frictions there. By virtue of the way that this, um, lived experience has developed for you. And so I would want to see if you can maybe tighten up some things.

Stephanie Winter (00:52:03) – Maybe we don’t need as much about the boyfriend, although. It is really heart wrenching to hear that he came all the way to Florida to tell you he has moved on. That is a choice I would love to make. You see that tightened up a little bit so that we can really appreciate what you are trying to show and convey to the reader, because the the surface level is all of the stuff that has happened to you, and that is all interesting. And we’ve kind of just touched on that. The extra layer of why this is a memoir that could be really powerful is because your arranging your understanding of what has happened to you in such a way that you want to make the reader come to a new conclusion or to see things differently. And for me, I blather on about what parts stand out for me. If those are what stand up for you, I think that’s how I would really position this so that you can you can lead your reader to the sort of paradigm shifting experience of reading this book and being forever changed by this book.

Stephanie Winter (00:52:58) – And I think you have a number of elements there as to why that could work. My only other thing would be to look, she may be updating your comps just a little bit there, a little bit in the like 20 tens era. And if you can find something to reference in the last 2 to 3 years, it will continue to help being able to situate this in the current market. But yeah, I, I think that there’s so much potential here, and I have so many questions about how the story ends, which is counterintuitive to this. Um, first pages and query critique. But there’s a lot of interesting material here.

(00:53:32) – Thank you.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:53:32) – That’s all such helpful advice.

4 (00:53:34) – I’m really hoping to query in 2024. So I really appreciate that. And we’ll definitely take all that to heart. Are we okay to.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:53:46) – You’re getting some really beautiful encouragement by the way, so I hope you will take that feeling with you when you query in 2024.

 

Stephanie Winter (00:55:47) – I love the voice here right off the bat, looking at the first paragraph and then immediately feeling like I am reading a novel, which is what you’re kind of looking for when you’re you’re working in memoir. And that creative nonfiction space and everything about this first page has the reader in the state of anticipation, because we are so aware that 911 is coming. We’re aware of that because in September, being introduced underneath your chapter one, we’re aware that something is going to happen, but you don’t give us the obvious thing. You set up this just lovely dark and stormy night sort of storm context, but then you’ve made it new. You’ve made it the thing that we’re not expecting, because you’ve almost missed, intentionally misdirected us to think about some of the bigger events that are up and coming. The language is just really lovely with the visuals of like, the stone streets and the thunder and the way that you bring in some of your, like, personal backstory to ground us. So while we know the Florence piece, you’re introducing the Kansas City piece as well, and your childhood in that first chapter, in that first paragraph without really bogging us down and exposition.

Stephanie Winter (00:56:56) – So that worked really well for me. I also love that you continue to show us setbacks of, you know, you lost your luggage. Um, and then the storm and whatnot. So you kind of give us this series of unfortunate events right off the bat that that we’re eager for you to overcome. And when we move into sort of the more research based content, I want to see that lab that you’re thinking of because you mentioned that you try to picture it and then we don’t see it. And so I’m.

4 (00:57:24) – So curious.

Stephanie Winter (00:57:25) – To see what even in like one line, what that might be, because we’re going to presumably see that your visual for what is going to be this great experience perhaps isn’t going to be fulfilled or lived up to you in some way. So if you can create that contrast of what you imagine this lab to be, we can then understand that there’s either you know, your your expectations fulfilled or your expectation is later dissappointed. It creates that ability for us to feel that emotion later on.

Stephanie Winter (00:57:54) – And I love that she that you run out into into the dark and stormy night. I would almost perhaps cut out the piece about your your carry on luggage because later when you say I’m struggling to find my shoes, it almost works better if we don’t know that you do kind of have a little bit of a setup meticulously placed out with your carry on luggage. So little things like that, so that we can continue to feel the the emotional thrust of her having to run outside and for it to be a little bit chaotic and then familiar. And I’d really leave this page waiting to have the other shoe to drop. I know something is going to happen. I’m not 100% sure, which is the thing that’s going to happen on this night, but I thought it was really lovely how you continue to give the protagonist or yourself these barriers to overcome with calling Ben, but Ben isn’t going to be able to answer. But then also we know from the query that Ben maybe probably doesn’t want to answer. So there’s all these really interesting layers and I’m waiting for, you know, to turn the next page and see whatever is on page two.

Stephanie Winter (00:58:54) – That’s going to make me completely, um, shocked or hooked or something, or like I’m waiting for that other shoe to drop. Maybe it’s at the end of your at the end of the chapter, and that is not a bad thing. I’m just like very full of anticipation when I read this first page.

4 (00:59:10) – Thank you. That is oh my gosh, that is music to my ears. Thank you so.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:59:13) – Much. Oh we all have the anticipation to read more. That’s lovely. Okay. Other agents any anyone want to weigh in.

Linda Camacho (00:59:20) – I would just, you know, go off of Stephanie I completely agree. You do such a great job of creating a sense of place, right? The setting is really a character. And even bringing in like Stephanie brought up, you talked about Kansas City just even for a second and then Rome, and then you subvert our expectations in a really interesting way. Right. Because and I was in Florence just this year, too, and it was very rainy. And I just remember going, oh, I did not expect that.

Linda Camacho (00:59:47) – So yeah, I thought that it really stuck out in a unique way because even just describing Florence, you could have gone the usual route, but you started out in a different perspective. So I thought that was interesting.

Jessica Sinsheimer (00:59:58) – Also, all of you are putting really beautiful comments in the chat in support of you saying, this is a magical place. We hope so. I’ve certainly felt moved by this evening. Okay, those looking for a critique partner manuscript Academy campus book. We will add you there. Any other panelists want to jump in before we get to Q&A and prizes?

Kaitlyn Sanchez (01:00:20) – I just want to say that I would also want to drink Chianti in Italy. It’s one of my favorite wines, but and I also really like like my parents taught me that to, you know, that whole like, oh, count between, you know, the thunder, different things like that. So I think it’s it’s really relatable. But again, like both Stephanie and Linda said, it’s so much and so little space that people can relate to.

Kaitlyn Sanchez (01:00:43) – And you don’t get that a lot when it comes to something like a memoir. And that’s why I think, as Stephanie said, it kind of feels more like a novel, which is amazing. Thank you.

Jessica Sinsheimer (01:00:52) – To say, the best memoirs read like novels, and I think you’ve got that here. Novels that happen to be true. Okay. Does anyone need help with anything that cannot be googled? Are you receiving eye submissions? Oh, how would you know? Have any of you received anything in her? Like, this is definitely written by a robot. You’re all very quiet. We don’t know that yet.

Linda Camacho (01:01:15) – As far as I know, I think one of my colleagues did for a picture book, and I think it was pretty, pretty obvious it wasn’t super well done for the eye. So I’m curious to see if I am well. I’ve been close to submissions, but when I do reopen, I’m curious to see if things come my way in that vein, but I haven’t really heard of many people getting that, at least as far as they’re aware of.

Jessica Sinsheimer (01:01:36) – Yeah, which is concerning. It’s kind of like the people who try to read Jane Austen’s work. Right? Remember when that was a trend like maybe ten years ago? It was like.

Stephanie Winter (01:01:44) – Oh yeah, they’re.

Jessica Sinsheimer (01:01:45) – Rejecting Jane Austen. Let’s reject publishing. Yeah. Um, let’s see, uh, how many social media followers do agents want you to have for fiction? I don’t think anyone’s terribly worried about that. Right.

Stephanie Winter (01:01:59) – I feel like it’s a bonus. Right? Like, if you have a following that’s excellent in fiction, because then your friends. Followers, whatnot will hopefully buy in. Pre-order your book, but it’s not a must.

Jessica Sinsheimer (01:02:11) – Uh, for those working on science fiction and fantasy, what trends are you seeing and other timeless tropes or themes you’re happy to see now? I think a few of you work on sci fi fantasy. Yeah.

Linda Camacho (01:02:21) – I’ve been noticing a lot more requests for cozy fantasy I, which I love, but it’s really hard to say because it’s such a again, I think every market’s a tight market, but I have noticed a lot more editors whenever I talk to them.

Linda Camacho (01:02:34) – And I don’t specialize in sci fi fantasy, though I do take on some in that. The cozy fantasy cozy. I’m curious to see if there’d be cozy sci fi. I’m sure there is somewhere. Maybe someone here would be the breakout person, but cozy fantasy people are all into that, and I know I am too.

Jessica Sinsheimer (01:02:51) – Yeah, they’re all drinking tea. I like, oh my goodness, lots of people here with some cozy fantasy. Lots of people commenting on how you all are glowing. Well done friends. Let’s see here. Okay, if you take on a book and don’t have an editor in mind, what do you do?

Stephanie Winter (01:03:08) – This is my experience, but I think more often than not I have like an idea of what imprints I would want to submit a projects to. And then like of course, the editors, that would be the best fit. But it’s not that I’m taking on a project because I want one specific editor to buy it numbers wise, and maybe Katelyn can speak to this better than I can, but numbers wise that math does not work all the time.

Stephanie Winter (01:03:30) – So yeah, I build from story then to list for submissions if that makes sense.

Kaitlyn Sanchez (01:03:36) – Yeah, I didn’t understand the question, so I’m glad you took that because I was like, I would I was thinking like an editor to help you edit it. And I was like, I don’t understand, um, editors at Publishers and Imprint. Sorry it’s getting late, guys. Yeah. I think the way that I kind of work is, as long as I have a feel where I could see it in the market, I generally kind of, you know, at the same time kind of think. And when I’m when I have a call with someone, I’m like, I could see it at this imprint, this imprint, this print. And so, yeah, I’m not I do think of specific editors, but like, I really am thinking the imprint because imprint is kind of what represents your book. You know, certain imprints have certain fields. I think the one that makes me giggle the most is that Fireball and Friends is about friendship books.

Kaitlyn Sanchez (01:04:13) – Almost all their books are friendship books. And I think that’s just like super cute and it’s super on the nose. But it’s super adorable, especially with picture books. But yeah, so I’m really thinking about the imprint, and certain editors pop into my head that I hope to send to. But I’m not always like, oh, it has to be that exact editor.

Jessica Sinsheimer (01:04:28) – Thank you so much for being here. Your community and support means so much. You’ve all been so lovely to your fellow writers and it’s just absolutely beautiful to see. Um, thank you so much to our panel and their insightful feedback, and thank you all for being here. We appreciate you. This just feels incredibly life affirming and beautiful, and I will take this feeling into the new year.

(01:04:54) – We are so glad that you joined us and as always, we appreciate your feedback. Just head on over to the iTunes store and let us know what you think. And not only helps us make this podcast be the best it can be, but it also affects our ratings within the iTunes platform.

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